To the woman who stole my spot:

Thanks.

I was already late and found that killer spot directly across from the doctor’s office, put my blinker on and pulled a u-ey. And just as I put my car in reverse, you snuck your piece of crap Chevy into the spot. Apparently, my blinker and horn were not enough of an indication that the spot was MINE. I rolled my window down—I know you heard the choice adjectives.

It never occurred to me to NOT leave a note, FYI. I tried to leave vulgarities out of it and thought about my yoga teacher (WWJD: What Would Jess Do?). She’d probably have let you take the spot and found another, all generous and good-karma like, and she wouldn’t rush to the doctor’s, but enjoy the fact that she was able to walk with two beautiful and sculpted (at a mere 39!) legs, and celebrate the fact that they WORKED!

I’m not mocking her gratitude; I wanted to be able to brush it off and be karmically right but still show my disappointment in you, since I thought that was the appropriate way to convey my frustration. My original note said “It was extremely rude of you to take my spot when you knew I was waiting for it. It may only be a parking spot [this is where I try to justify being pissed off], but perhaps one day you will know what it’s like to wait patiently, only to have someone selfishly take it from you.”

But then I remember how you waved at me, laughing, and pointed at the parking sign.

LYLAS!

I don’t care WHY you decided it was perfectly legitimate to pirate my spot, but why did you think pointing at the parking sign constituted a valid defense? Did you think I didn’t have a Zone permit? Or that the sign read “Suck It, Blue Civic”?

I hope you’ll find my response equal in maturity to your decision to hijack my parking spot.
Sincerely,

Blue Civic

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